The headmaster of Bash Street School is the employer of Teacher, Olive and the Janitor who works with the villains, Cuthbert Cringeworthy, Teacher, Janitor, Winston, Slasher Brown, Slasher Brown's Henchmen, Mr. Abercrombie, The Colonel, The Inspector, Captain Prefab, Clint Katzenberger, Sergeant Slipper, Hugo Trenchfoot, Olive, Vilhemina Slop Bucket, Mrs. Greature, Mrs. Creecher, Fatty Fudge, Aunty Fanny, Reg Trademark, Captain Trout, Aunty Gertrude, Sergeant Boot, Mrs. Duffel and Sir Fitz-Patrick Flush. He has a fondness for biscuits. That's about all there is to say about him.
- His full name is Headward Headington-Hail.
- The Beano Annual 2015 reveals that he has retired and now spends his days playing golf.