The Sad Childhood of Laurent Winckel

The Sad Childhood of Laurent Winckel is an autobiography by the Luxembourger racing driver of the same name, published in July 2013.

Summary
Laurent starts off his biography by telling how his childhood went from good to bad in a matter of days. Laurent was born on Leap Day of 1984 in Luxembourg City, Luxembourg. His dad, Alphonse, was an auto repairer in the city. Laurent was just about to follow his father's footsteps when his mother, Vivienne, who worked as an undertaker and loved death in every way, coaxed him to work at the f****al home. Laurent politely said 'No' to this, because he was more into cars. He was forced to work with Mum anyway. Poor Laurent spent five grueling years burying, cremating and pall-bearing (and even being forced to exhume and re-bury Ayrton Senna's body), before being driven to insanity and sent to the Luxembourg City Mental Hospital, where he created the song Eating a Door for Thankschristmas while still mad.

Before all this, Laurent was lucky enough to meet Luxembourg-born F1 driver Bertrand Gachot at the 1992 Belgian GP, and even had his autograph signed by the F1 driver. Then in 2002, he met April of Granitoons fame on an online dating site, and decided to date her (the main reason April is mentioned in Laurent's song). Eight years later, a young Scottish man called Innes McDonald would date and propose to her behind Laurent's back.

In 2004, Laurent was released from mental hospital with a record deal with Columbia Records for his song which topped the charts in 67 countries, including Zambia, Sri Lanka and Latvia. Knowing that life was getting back together, and that his turmoiled past was behind him, he started a racing career too, and won the Luxembourg U21 Junior Championship the same year. This gave him a seat for the Benelux Touring Car Championship in 2005 and he finished seventh in the championship with two wins.

Then, in 2006, he met up with retired F1 driver Heinz-Harald Frentzen, who was also the son of an undertaker (however it was Dad that assumed the role) which somehow didn't affect his early days and racing career.

In 2012, he was invited to the wedding of Romain Grosjean and Marion Jolles, but his macabre mum ripped up the invitation because she hated good and loved bad. This led Laurent to cause a rampage all across Luxembourg, and being let off with a warning by the police.

However, in 2013, Laurent went crazy again after Margaret Thatcher's f****al gained worldwide attention, and was sent back to hospital, this time only staying there for 3 months. After the second stint, Laurent again met Frentzen, who was listening to his dad singing f****al hymns, and grimacing.

Nowadays, Laurent drives with a frog painted on his car (to signify February 29, his once-every-four-years birthday), while Innes drives with April painted on his car.