RandomiciNews: Domenicali quits Ferrari over points drought

16 July 2013

FERRARI TEAM PRINCIPAL Stefano Domenicali has angrily stepped down from the team after his team failed to score yet again in this year's Fan-Fiction F1 season.

"It's not fair! Stupid Caterham! Figlio di una cagna!" the eccentric Italian ranted as the clumsy Dutchman Giedo van der Garde wrecked both his cars at the start of yesterday's Tennyson GP. The weekend had started on a bad note for the team as their lead driver Fernando Alonso ruptured his spine in a huge crash.

Lady driver Fiona Cashmore, who replaced the Spaniard, will now take Domenicali's place while Alonso recovers.

Meanwhile, van der Garde (or van der Derp as the tifosi now call him) has been hit with a two-race ban for disrupting the start and his replacement is spectacled Briton Jack Alope.